LHM Wishes You: A Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween folks! (I know it's a couple days late, gimme a break, I have a candy induced comatose child to tend to) It's been a bit since I've written, I have to apologize. I have been going through some transitions and I promise the "WTF did you name your baby?!" post is coming but I didn't want to post anything non-halloween related on this day.

My name is Lizzy, and I am a horrorolic. I absolutely love Halloween. I love horror. I use Scream as background noise when I clean my room. I wake up from nightmares with a euphoric head rush. I read about Jeffrey Dahmer for fun. You get the idea. As such the other things I am passionate about, I live and breathe the entire genre. Halloween is a day when you can scare the pants off of someone and not get reprimanded, or you can be anything you want and no one can say SHIT (Well...they can, but it's moot).

I was listening to Eric and Kathy's morning show the other day (if you live in the Chicago area, you gotta listen to them in the morning, they are awesome) and they were reading off IMDB's list of scariest movies. Number one! The Shining (duh)... Now usually, the first several, up to maybe number 7 are just about right then they throw one in there that makes me go "whaaaaat". This time, it was number THREE. And six. And seven. And others. I guess I can appreciate the fact that it was user voted, see because a lot of people who watch movies today don't know what a good horror movie is. But really, Shaun of the Dead at number 3?!?! Zombieland at number 6? These are comedies, satires and parodies more than horror movies. When I want to watch a scary movie, I want eery music. I want my palms to sweat and my heart to pound and I want to burn calories. Like The Shining makes happen. I'm not saying Shaun of the Dead sucked, I definitely laughed, but I was NOT scared and for it to be ahead of movies like "The Exorcist" and "Psycho"? It just seems wrong. And I am also NOT saying that NEW movies can't be scary. Cloverfield was at number 5 and I am right there with them, that movie made my skin crawl.

SO, I decided to make my own list. Maybe you'll agree, maybe not, but just like my opinion towards the IMDB list doesn't matter since I didn't vote, no one's opinion matters on my list. Here goes! (I'm keeping the descriptions and reasons short and sweet, gotta get my butt moving on my next blog, it's past halloween already GOSH LHM!)

10. Halloween

This movie gets my vote for the terrifying theme song, and Michael Myers ability to walk as slowly as possible and still catch up to you. When you see is face, you know you're done. His mask gives me goosebump induced hives. His HEIGHT is tantalizing. The screams make my heart race. Then there's how effortlessly he murders his victim. He could snap me in half with one hand. I even like the re-make. I like the back story of Michael Myers. I like that the murders are derived from passion, it makes it much more horrifying. I also love being from the same state he is from in the movie ;)

9.  The Descent

Here you have a movie that didn't get much play in the States, but got good reviews from those who HAVE seen it. Just because you haven't heard of a movie, doesn't mean it isn't freakishly awesome. This is a british horror film about a cave expedition gone terribly wrong. I love it for the twist in character development as well. I don't want to give it away, but there are parts when you realize that not all of the women underground are as good of a friend as they're supposed to be, and being underground in an undiscovered cave with no communication to the outside world is a bad place to be when that happens. If you enjoy this movie, you will probably like the sequel for the continuation of the story line. It's pretty cool. Definitely worth the rental.

8. The Exorcist

Linda Blair wouldn't have to do much in this movie to make us all terrified. The way she ended up looking while possessed, they could have had 90 minutes of her staring at the camera and we'd all be screaming into our popcorn. She's NASTY! It's a little lower on my list because it can be a little cheesy at times, and I am not a huge fan of exorcism movies, I just don't usually find them that scary. But THIS movie breaks that chain and scares the shit out of me every time. Her voice, that crab walk down the stairs, all the classic movie scenes from this film are what makes it. I would never call it number one like it usually is, but it's up there.

7. The Strangers

I may get flak from my fellow horror enthusiasts for this one, but let me explain. This movie is terrifying because it's real. This could actually happen, way too easily. There's no fantasy, no ghosts, no aliens. It's terrifyingly real and things like this happen all the time there are people in the world who are that sick. This film is along the same lines as films like Funny Games and A Clockwork Orange, (it also reminds me the first season of "American Horror Story", the storyline with te group of people who knock on the door of the house saying, "I'm really hurt, can I come in?") The photo above is from one of the most terrifying scenes, where the two victims are in te basement, and they're staring out the window and Liv Tyler says, "They're watching us." Flash to this image. OMG, gets me every time. Probably the most gut wrenching line though, is towards the end when Tyler asks the intruders, "Why?"and the woman in the photo above says, "You were home." Heeeeeeeby jeeby.

6.  It

What I love about It is that you can be terrified of it even if you don't have coulrophobia. Pennywise has those eyes...those evil, evil eyes that really bite into your soul. This movie really pushes the boundaries, what with the deaths of the children and all. The book is pretty intense as well, and I don't recommend reading it when you are 13, like I did. I'm just a kook, and always have been, and if I wasn't such a wack job, the fact that I have my own child might deter me from this movie not just because of the deaths of children in it but because the entire movie is thematically about children. It's like one big bloody fifth birthday party. I think this song is solely responsible for 2 things - 1) that you never see clowns at birthday parties any more and 2) that every other person you ask will tell you that they're terrified of clowns. I don't blame them....but clowns still don't scare me.

5. Pet Sematary

"The soiiil of a maaaan's heart is....sssstonier...Looouiiiiis....." Eesh. So many eery truths, dilemmas, and decisions in this Stephen King classic. King went a little crazy in this one, and it's also got a child's death - a horrible one - and not only that but death TWICE. As a parent, this movie rattles me a little but it's one of my favorites. I think most of the fear comes from the thought of burying my child...but also the thought of burying him and him coming back looking like that ^^^ and telling me "I wanna pway wiff you mommy..." and having that mean anything but innocent play. (I hear they're trying to re-make this movie, I say let sleeping dogs lie. I'm all for re-makes but part of what is scary about this movie is the 70's setting.)

 

4. Insidious

I have to admit, this was a last minute add in. I just watched this movie yesterday, and yes it scared me so much that it jumped all the way to number 4, knocking off Silent Hill as number 10. The image above is from the first scene that really made my skin crawl. Can you imagine hearing your baby crying, going to check on her and seeing THAT?! There are many scenes like this, with terrifying faces and creepy figures. But what I loved the most was it wasn't just a big haunted house with bumps in the night and people yelling, "boo". There was a legitimate storyline. You'll recognize one of the "ghost exterminators" in the movie as Adam from the movie Saw. He wrote this story as well as Saw, and plays in both movies. Pretty cool. He's definitely gifted.

 

3.  The Hills Have Eyes

If you feel the need to smack me, refer to my intro blog, all about me. I love new horror movies just as much as old, and I think some re-makes are done remarkably well. This is one. I love this movie. I could watch it on repeat (totally have) and here's why: First of all, the makeup is grotesque and awesome. They did such a stellar job putting together all the nasty inbred freaks in the hills. They are disgusting and I love it. But mostly, each villain and "monster" has a story. They have names, a specific disorder, and a background. The more you learn, the more you get from the movie. 

2. Friday The 13th

My older sister told me when I was about 8 years old and started getting interested in horror, "You haven't seen a horror movie until you've seen Friday The 13th, Liz". She was so right. The horror movies from the 70's are more terrifying because they look more real. I am not in HD, and neither are all the serial killers out there. We're ugly, we have flaws and wrinkles, and the woman above is a million times scarier than Jigsaw any day. A woman killer is creepier anyway because you never see it ("Serial killers are typically white males" -can you name that movie??-) and seeing her with that vengeance scares the fuck outta me. Classic, wonderful, horrifying, beautiful, amazing.

 

1. The Shining

Have you ever read the book? If you are a Stephen King fan, you know that he is THE MASTER of describing the slow descent into madness. The book differs significantly from the movie, but they did one hell of a job making the film. It's risky, it's gripping, and I burn about 600 calories every time I watch it. It's one of the only movies that makes me shake and makes my heart race every time. It has a way of actually making you fear that the good people will lose the battle, even if you've seen the outcome a million times. I love it. I LOVE IT. 

 

 

Sorry if this is less thrilling than my other posts, I just really needed to get it out there so I could start working on NEW blogs. I hope you enjoyed it. Agree? Disagree? Lemme know!

 

 

LHM.